It’s all uphill from here… right?


OK, this is absolutely fine.

No, really, it is! I’m completely fucking great. I finished university two weeks ago, and I’m having the time of my life counting down the days until graduation.

It’s so exciting, all this freedom. My first experience of not being in full-time education. The first time I’ve had absolutely no idea what’s next. It’s the sensation I’ve longed for my entire life – the vast, open world spread in front of me, every opportunity ripe for the picking.

How lucky am I?!

OK, I am freaking the fuck out. 

How is everyone else coping with this?! I have spent twelve consecutive days on the couch, eating leftover Dominos and watching Big Bang reruns (alright, that’s not too different to how I spent the entirety of my uni days, but still). Every single one of my friends has jobs or travelling in the pipeline, and I’m just… floating. As much as someone who’s spent the remains of her student loan on pizza can float, I suppose.

Anyway, my point is that I’ve been hurled into adult life all of a sudden, with zero support and absolutely no plans. I mean, I’ve got the Careers Advice Service and my parents, obviously, but what about the rest of it?! How will I survive without the Student Union, an eight hour working week and ten percent off everywhere?

I know I need to get a job eventually, but how does anyone spend eight hours a day in one place? How does that not just kill you off? And the worst part, the horror, is that I’m pretty sure you can’t cry period pains in the office and get your mum to come and pick you up.

Right, I’m going to make a plan. I’m going to book in with the Careers Advice Service, get on the government jobs websites and really think about what I want to do. And then I’ll graduate, begin my career and become a high-flyer, dominating the world and making shit-tonnes of money.

Yes! That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Right after one more episode.